How I wish that I had internet dating when I was in my late teens and early twenties. So much better than looking for love in a crowded disco. Shouting above the noise,
” Ello Luv! Wanna dance?”
With internet dating, I could have taken my pick from the World. And from the comfort of my living room table. Instead of squeezing past bouncers. Of course it wasn’t always like that. Before the Great War, many artisan marriages were within trades. For example, the dressmaker’s daughter marrying the tailor’s cutter. I guess it was quite transactional. And if you were wondering about tailor’s cutters? They were people who made shirts. In the days before every shirt was imported from China. And there are also similarities with modern internet dating.
When you log onto your dating site, your internet platform steps into the role of ‘kaaj lady’ or marriage broker. Like a kaaj lady, it will show you pictures of prospective dates. Klick on one of those pictures and she will give you a little more information about their job and social standing. Then is over to you
I am with Education Secretary Lucy Powell when it comes to teaching young people how to be better communicators.
How you speak defines who you are. It defines how everyone else in the world will react to you. I’m sorry if I’m sounding a little old-fashioned. Perhaps a little too much of the ‘My Fair Lady’. But it’s the truth.
Yes I know that it’s cool to speak like Ali G. 20 years ago every young person in the UK aspired to speak like Ali G. Even some radio and TV presenters spoke like Ali G. But I’m sorry to tell you that Ali G is a pretend character. Sacha Baron Cohen doesn’t talk like Ali G when he is speaking to his agent. And speaking like Ali G is never going to get you that job in the City
It’s also why being ‘well spoken’ was so important to my parents when I was growing up in Essex. Particularly to Lilian, my late mother. Perhaps it was something to do with London’s East End, where she grew up and where any affected accent was deemed ‘la di da’. It was all to do with social mobility. But being well spoken isn’t about being la di da. It is about being clear, articulate and grammatically correct. Pronouncing the ends of your words. Not the Tony Blair glottal stop. In other words ‘sounding educated’.
Many years ago, a former line manager told me that my accent was ‘neutral’. He said it as a compliment. That it would be accepted anywhere. Years later, someone commented that I had a ‘radio voice’. Again, it was said as a compliment. So how do you get that elusive ‘radio voice’. Here are my tips:
Listen to yourself. I guarantee you’ll be shocked. I certainly was when I heard my 999 telephone call to the police being broadcast to Uxbridge Magistrates, when I was appearing as I witness for the prosecution in a case where I had seen a woman being attacked in the street. Did I really sound like that?
Get in the habit of using voice dictation in your work. Just as I am using voice dictation in the writing of this article. Voice dictation is fickle. If it can’t understand what you are sayng, it will just refuse to transcribe. It might even respond to you with a mouthful of abuse. When you use voice dictation you have to emphasize every vowel and consonant.
Look for every opportunity to speak in public. Learn the art of public speaking. Read my article ‘How to be a Great Speaker’. Join a speaker’s club where you can practice your skill week in and week out. Learn to think on your feet. Not like Trump’s new press secretary. If you can communicate well you will gain self-confidence. It will change your life
A writer works at a vintage typewriter surrounded by books, papers, and family photographs.
I don’t feel quite the same way about the recent passing of Jeffrey Archer as I did – say – with the passing of Frederick Forsyth a couple of years back. For me Forsyth was up there with the greats, like Stephen King or the late Wilbur Smith. Day of the Jackal was part of my adolescence. The difference with Forsyth and Smith is that they wrote from their own life experience. By contrast, Archer came across to me as a former Conservative politician turned writer. Yes he was good at his trade. I have read a couple of his books. Though I can’t remember any of the plots. Other than that I recall one of them being based in the Vichy France. Have I got that right? But Archer was famous in other ways. He was the first celebrity defendant to be convicted by a jury. I recall him standing against Red Ken in one of the London mayoral elections. But I didn’t vote for him. All I remember about his campaign was that he wanted to reduce some bus services. What a choice that was?
Community members listen attentively from the gallery during a formal courtroom proceeding.
If the late Ken Dodd was to be tried again today on the same evidence for alleged tax evasion, I am convinced that a modern jury would not have hesitated to convict him. Because today’s jury is more savvy. Less likely to be bamboozled by someone’s celebrity. We saw that in the conviction of cuddly children’s entertainer Rolf Harris a few years back. And he was not alone. It’s why I am always impressed by the collective wisdom of today’s juries: the men and women which the Starmer government wanted to abolish for mid-range offences. I’m so glad that Burnham has seen sense.
Because the real damage from a criminal conviction is not the slap on the wrist from a judge or magistrate. It is the long-term reputational damage. The ruination of a future career. So wouldn’t you want your case to be tried by men and women who could see life through your eyes? Instead of a state appointee?
A three-panel collage presents prominent British politicians speaking at public events.
With so much rubbish on the freeview channels, I have taken to watching the recent party conferences. I’d much rather be entertained by a great speaker than bore myself watching celebrity game shows. And aren’t there too many of those? Where gameshows and Eastenders’ become the ‘news’. Even though it’s all pretend. Talk about dumbing down! I’ve shown Farage; Polanski and Burnham in the picture because they are the political leaders I most enjoy watching. I don’t have to agree with them to like hearing them speak.
When it comes to presentation, party politics, for me, has never been better. A move away from the complacency of the past. New ideas. New faces. Though for me, some of Andy Burnham’s shine is beginning to wear off. It’s one thing to talk about growth in the economy. But he doesn’t seem to be doing anything to make it happen. Instead there is hesitancy even over the Heathrow Airport expansion, not to mention the Jackdaw and Rosebank oil and gasfields. all of which are supported by the main unions, including the TUC, because of the jobs they will create. When I attended a recent Back Heathrow Airport Event at Hounslow’s Gymkhana Club. I was impressed by the turnout from the Unite and GMB unions. Andy – please listen to them – instead of wittering about Britain rejoining the EU. Kemi Badenoch is for me still the unknown quantity and I look forward to seeing her speak at the forthcoming Conservative party conference. But her promise has for me being marred by her recent support for Joshua Bonehill-Paine becoming a Conservative councillor. Why? What was that all about? Bonehill-Paine might be a reformed character but none of us can erase our past. The damage has been done. But I’ll listen to what Kemi has to say. I hope that she can come up with some real ideas. Gimmicks like abolishing inheritance tax just don’t cut it for me. And wasn’t her predecessor, David Cameron, all about gimmicks? Like ‘localism’. And as leader of the opposition, she has to do more than just ‘oppose’. And as for Ed Davey? Well? What can I say? Falling out of boats is never going to win my vote. I need to know what he stands for. So what is it that makes the three-party leaders shown in the picture so engaging? And what can we learn from them? Here are some suggestions:
Be genuinely passionate about your subject. If you are passionate, you don’t have to worry about what you are going to say. The words will just come. A passionate speaker sells emotion.
Have you noticed that none of these speakers ever use notes.? Burnham doesn’t even stand behing a rostrum. Glancing at notes means that you break eye contact with your audience. And it is the eye contact which creates the power in a good speech.
Structure your speech. Not just a beginning, middle and an end. Remember the salesmans’ acronym AIDA. Say something to get the audience attention. Summarize the theme. Back it up with facts and argument. And finally the call to action.
Don’t ramble. You are not a lay preacher. Know what you want to say. Say it. Summarise it. Sit down. Learn to read your audience. When you see them fidgeting. Whispering to each other. Looking up their phones. Have the courtesy to shut up. Don’t wait for people to start walking out.
Be heard. You don’t need to tap a microphone if you can throw your voice to the end of the room.
Actively look for opportunities to speak. Maybe through your work or special interests. Or join a speakers club.
Buy a copy of Dale Carnegie’s ‘The quick and easy guide to Effective Speaking’ [my call to action]
